I saw this joke about a guy in a public bus who decided to play pranks on total strangers. The bus was filled with men, coming back from work in the evening. So, without dialing any number, this guy picked his phone as if he was receiving a call and said to the supposed lady on the other end of the call: “Babe, I can’t talk right now as I am in a public bus and I can see your husband in the bus”.
According to the author of the joke, all the men in the bus insisted that they must see the last number the guy dialled on his phone to assure themselves that they didn’t have cheating wives. Even the driver of the bus would not move until he sighted the number. Lol
This brings me back to my question: Which spouse is more jealous? The man or the woman? Does the length of their marriage figure into this? Which spouse tend to be more suspicious or protective of the other? Is this issue gender specific or individualistic?
I am inclined to believe that men are more jealous over their wives than the other way around. If the joke above had happened in a bus filled with women, I doubt if the women would be aggressively insistent on seeing the phone number to assure themselves. You get this feeling that most women have given up on “men” being faithful to one partner (lol). Is that a good or bad thing? Your answer might depend on where you stand on the issue but I strongly feel it is a bad thing. If a person’s better half has given up hope that their spouse will keep the vow they made at their wedding day, then Humanity should be worried.
Have you noticed that it is the guy or lady who cheats the most that is always suspicious of every other person within any particular group. The same applies to the individual who goes around backstabbing people; he or she thinks everyone does it but they are wrong. I see the same phenomenon with some men; they go around wandering from “Babe to Babe” and then in the process, they lose their confidence in the ability of other humans to keep the vows of staying faithful.
Recently, I accosted a friend on this matter and he jokingly asked: “if a key opens many doors, what is it called”. “Master key” I replied. “That’s your answer” he said. The lack of personal sexual self-discipline is the reason why some men get jealous over their partners and then become doubtful. The mere fact that you are doing it does not mean everyone does it. Until we learn this fact, marriages will continue to break. Once doubt sets into a marriage, it is most likely going to hit a rock.
I remember sending this joke (the guy in the bus) to a more senior friend who is martially settled and the first thing he replied is: “That bus was filled with guys who did not trust their wives”. Marriages don’t last if one partner is overtly jealous; especially when that jealousy is borne out of their own lack of self-control. My senior friend pointed out that if the guys trusted their wives, they would not be interested in the call the joker made.
They were probably flirtatious guys who thought that their wives were also having extra-marital affairs, just like them. Don’t get it wrong; I am not saying that women are “saints” when it comes to extra-marital affairs. It’s just that the individuals that cheat the most are always the most suspicious and jealous.
Another friend of mine painted a very different perspective about why men are more jealous and suspicious of their spouses. He said “All men cheat; whether physically in sexual acts or lustfully with their eyes. All men cheat”. He then postulated that due to the inherent cheating nature of men, especially with our eyes, we find it hard to believe that our spouses can withstand the external pressures without succumbing like we do.
I don’t agree that all men cheat, even with the eyes. The mere fact that some people are struggling with lustful eyes does not mean it applies to everyone. Self-control is individualistic. Though, the gentleman’s point is well taken and should be considered; it is a food for thought.
I hope this article provokes an internal discussion. If we let go of the doubts and jealousy, more marriages will survive. That’s our hope.